From Fuerteventura to Gran Canaria – A Journey Full of Chaos, Carnival, and a Mother Who Just Couldn't Let Go

It was supposed to be a simple trip. A flight, a hotel, a client. Just a normal job – nothing complicated. But the universe had other plans.

⸻

The Job – Spontaneous and in the Middle of the Night.

🔥 The request came out of nowhere – in the middle of the night. I was sitting there, it was late, and suddenly I got the message. Spontaneous, last-minute, no time to plan.

🌕 So I had to quickly book a flight.

🔥 From Fuerteventura to Gran Canaria, for the next day.

And then I remembered – my mom was on Gran Canaria. So I called her in the middle of the night:

👉 "Mami, I’m flying to Gran Canaria tomorrow! I have a coaching session, I can visit you after!"

🚨 Of course, I didn’t tell her about my actual job.💡 She thought I was there for a consciousness coaching session in a hotel in Las Palmas.

So far, so good. I had no idea the real madness was just about to begin.

⸻

Carnival, Police, and My Mom Right in the Middle of the Hotel

🔥 I arrive in Gran Canaria. Carnival is everywhere.

🔥 My mom, instead of just waiting somewhere, decides: “I’ll go with you to the hotel.”

🔥 I can’t believe what’s happening.

🚧 But the hotel is completely blocked off. 🚧

🔥 Security is guarding the entrance – afraid that drunk carnival-goers will storm the five-star garden, wreck everything, pee everywhere, and throw up on the luxury lounge furniture.

🤡 Only guests are allowed in.

The concierge asks for my client’s name.Problem? I don’t know his name.

Me: "Uh… I’m with… uh…" 🤡

Him: ❌ "No entry."

🚔 THEN THE POLICE DECIDES IF I CAN GO IN. The officer scans me, looks at my mom, and probably thinks:🔥 "Okay, she probably won’t pee in a corner – let them in."

YES! We’re in. But now comes the next problem: my mom is still there.

🚽 I drag her into the bathroom and say:🔥 "Mami, wherever – you need to go THAT way. And I have to go the OTHER way."🔥 "I don’t know where I’m going – but you CAN’T come with me."🔥 "This guy absolutely CANNOT meet you!"

Finally. I’m on my way.

⸻

Meeting the Client – And Total Absurdity

🚪 I finally get to the room – and my client has zero interest in me. 🚪

📺 He’s lying on the bed, watching TV and texting.I try to start a conversation. Nothing.

So I say:👉 "I’m going to take a shower."🔥 Maybe that will get him in the mood.

I come out fresh from the shower, sit next to him – and he’s STILL watching TV. So I start massaging him.

And then… 📞 MY MOM CALLS.🔥

📞 "Sweetie, I’m in the hotel bar now waiting for you."Me: "Yes, I sent you there. I know where you are. All good. Please don’t call again. I’m working."

Her: "Okay, my darling, alright."

🔥 Back to massaging.🔥

📞 TEN MINUTES LATER – ANOTHER CALL.🔥

📞 "I’m so worried about you."📞 "Give me the room number. What if this man puts something in your drink!"

🔥 I pause. Breathe deeply.🔥

Me: "Mami – I’m in a five-star hotel. Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’m fine." 🤡

So I send her the room number just so she’ll stop calling.

🔥 Finally, peace.🔥

⸻

The Condom of Doom

I keep massaging, and at some point I ask:👉 "Can I kiss you?"🔥 He’s super introverted. But he nods.

So I kiss him. It’s… weird.He’s nervous, really stiff, so I try to relax him.

🔥 Then I grab his condom and pull it on with my mouth.🔥 And at that moment, I feel it.🔥 My mouth goes numb.

💡 It feels like I rubbed anesthesia directly on my lips.🚨 My lips tingle, my tongue goes numb.🔥 My first thought: SHIT, SOMETHING’S WRONG.

🌕 And while I’m lying there, realizing my mouth is losing feeling – he just keeps going, as if nothing’s wrong.

⸻

After Sex – The Fastest Goodbye Ever

🔥 After he finally finishes – in doggy, of course, because he couldn’t look at me – HE IMMEDIATELY JUMPS UP.

💨 No cuddling, no chill time.

🚿 He showers at lightning speed.👕 Gets dressed while still wet.⏳ "Oh my God, I’m so late for the carnival party! I have to hurry!"

🔥 He says goodbye, thanks me, smiles – like everything’s normal.🔥 "Let’s stay in touch!" he calls out as he leaves the room.

🌊 And me? I sit there on the bed thinking: "Wait… what’s on the table?"

📃 His car key.🔑 His freaking passport.

🔥 I could’ve just left with his passport and car keys.🔥 He left EVERYTHING with me – his entire damn life.

🔥 I look around the room for more of his stuff.🔥 Either he just booked the room to meet me or he lives there.💡 But since there’s nothing else, I realize: Shit. He just forgot.

🚪 I’m about to leave – and he comes running back in a panic.🔑 "Oh shit, my key for my… oh my…"

⸻

The Final Madness – Carnival Calls Me Back

I go down to the lobby, where my mom is already waiting.🔥 She’s relieved that I made it back – like I just survived a dangerous quest.

🌕 We sit down, have a little bite to eat while outside the carnival rages on.

Then we have to walk back to the car.🚶‍♀️ Through 150,000 drunk Spaniards all singing the same song.🔥 Wild costumes, loud laughter, an explosion of energy.

🌊 And as I walk through the crowd, I can only think: Shit, it really feels like they’re all celebrating that I’m still alive.

⸻

Final Thought: Girl, boy – THAT’S ENOUGH.

🔥 I’ve collected enough crazy stories – and this one is definitely one of them.