🔥 I walked into the fire – and his gaze follows me through all lifetimes

Left: Maron / right: Eléa, Lys, Théo und Aimée

A true remembrance of love, guilt, and the courage to burn for one’s truth.

Stuttgart, July 7th, 2025

🎧 Recommendation: Take your time. Lean back. And if you like, put this music on:

🎵 Jon Hopkins – “Sit Around the Fire” (from the album Music for Psychedelic Therapy) Let the sound carry you – and let the words remind you. 🕊️🔥 Listen here

It wasn’t a conversation. It was a regression. And yet, it was only a moment – a glance, a sentence, a deep breath – and suddenly, everything was there.

I was sitting with Maron when he remembered. Not just some detail, but the pain that has followed him like a shadow his whole life: The fear of speaking his truth and showing himself. The fear of living his spirituality. The fear of loving – and committing 💔.

Because back then, in the 4th century, he had raised his voice.Too loud, too clear, too radiant. It was the beginning of that ecclesiastical violence that persecuted people for speaking the truth. He spoke of love – how it heals fear. That people are free when they feel. That control only works when we lose ourselves.

But this truth was dangerous. ⚔️ Too dangerous for those who sought power over others – over bodies, hearts, and souls. So they killed his family. His wife Eléa and his three children: Lys, Théo, and Aimée. Not him – but the ones he loved.They let him live. Alone.And that pain still lives within him today.

Maron never started a family.He never spoke of wanting children, never created a home.He never stayed long in one place. He travels, searches, disappears – as softly as a leaf in the wind.Around his heart he built walls – high, thick, made of pain.Because a bond that truly reaches from heart to heart scares him more than any fire.

Deep inside, he remembers:

If I love, I lose. If I speak, they die. 😔

And I understood him – with every fiber of my being .Because I too remembered. But my story led me to believe:

To love is dangerous. Because if I love, I die.

Nalaya

🌺 My Life as Nalaya – My name was once another

Back then, I served in the temple of the goddess Isis – on the sacred island of Philae, an island in the Nile, south of Aswan in Egypt. Today, that temple stands on the nearby island of Agilkia – almost identically rebuilt.

I was a High Priestess. I was Nalaya.

Temple of Philae

As a High Priestess, I healed with light. With energy. And yes – with touch, and with conscious sexuality. Because I knew: Sexuality and spirituality belong together.They are two paths leading to the same goal –back to the heart. 💞Back to feeling .Back to love.

But the world began to change. I most likely lived as Nalaya between 150 BC and 300 AD – in a time when the ancient Egyptian temples were already under pressure to conform to a new order. The Temple of Isis was my home – a place where I could still practice freely, but no longer love freely. It was the end of an era. And I left – to return.

Love was regulated. Desire demonized. And I was forbidden to love privately. No partnership. No family. No personal pleasure. Only in the temple – but never in life.

Chemitra

Then came Chemitra – a man who didn’t just see me but recognized me .His soul knew me – and mine knew him. Chemitra was one of the temple guards – a warrior in service of order, protecting the outer perimeter of the sacred space. He was powerful, silent, deeply connected to the temple’s energy field – but he was not initiated into the highest teachings I carried as High Priestess.

Our glances met often – and without words, a connection grew that was forbidden in that world. He didn’t understand everything I did – but he felt something greater than understanding. And that’s what made it so painful when he betrayed me.

Nalaya und Chemitra

🔥 The Choice and the Fire

I resisted falling in love. Because I knew that to love might meanlosing my life. I fled from his gaze. But love – and the pull toward him – were stronger❤️‍🔥. We had a secret connection, more intense than anything we’d ever known.

Then one day, he gave me an ultimatum:

Him – or my path.

Family – or temple.

Love – or purpose.

I couldn’t choose him, because my light was not negotiable. My calling was to help others in the temple remember themselves and their light –so they too could live a fuller, more peaceful life.

I would have perished had I denied my calling.

And he … he couldn’t understand. His heart shattered into a thousand pieces by my decision.

In his pain, he went to the priests and betrayed me – saying:

"She seduced me.”

When they questioned me, I told the truth .I spoke from the heart: Yes, I love him. And I see no sin in it. I would do it again.

So they gave me a choice: If I confess and show remorse, I may live – but must leave the temple.If I stay with my truth, I must go into the fire. 🔥

And so I chose the fire. My truth. My love. Myself. With the words:

“I will return – as a phoenix from the ashes 🕊️.”

I burned in front of all those who had once held me in their hearts. And even Chemitra watched – as my body turned to ashes before his eyes. He saw me go. He saw me burn.

And still – I did not die.

Chemitra today

🚒 Chemitra Today – And the Pain That Remains

In this life, Chemitra became a firefighter. 🧯🔥Unconsciously, he carries the guilt – through centuries. He believes he’s the villain. That he killed me by betraying me .And deep within his soul, he swore:

If I ever master fire, maybe I can save her.

But he never understood – I chose it myself. Not against him – but for my purpose.

And so the story repeats: I saw him again.

Again our eyes met, and I felt we were more familiar than we thought. Again, I resisted falling in love. Again, the pull was so strong that I entered a connection with him despite everything.

And as before, he gave me the same choice:

Him – or my job. And again, I chose my path and ended the connection. He couldn’t understand, was deeply hurt, and calls me a lunatic, a dreamer… He doesn’t recognize me. Not even when I told him about Nalaya and Chemitra .And that is the greatest pain: That fate brought us together –but he does not see me.

Maron

🕊️ Maron – The One Who Couldn’t Save

Now you may ask :Is this really true? Did it really happen?

All I can tell you is this: When I mentioned Maron’s family, he suddenly cried out –“Ah! My leg!”

He grabbed his left thigh.The pain was sudden.Unexplainable.Real.And then… he remembered.

⚔️ What Maron Had Done

Just like in this life, Maron also wrote texts about spirituality back then –about living a free, self-determined, joyful life. He had written a scroll – a sort of manifesto against the church rulers and the tax collectors. He had started teaching villagers. He spoke of a divine principle that blooms not through guilt but through freedom. ✨

His words spread – and that was dangerous .An old acquaintance from the city betrayed him – out of fear.

As a warning, they didn’t send soldiers but churchmen with swords – in dark robes bearing the bishop’s seal.

🔥 The Scene of Loss

It was morning. Eléa, Maron’s wife, was kneading bread.

Lys, the eldest, was gathering flowers🌼. Théo was sleeping in the attic. Aimée lay in a basket 👼🏻. Maron was in the stable.

Then came the noise. Three riders. They didn’t shout. They burned.

Eléa ran into the house, grabbed the children. But she knew:They hadn’t come to talk.They came to take something from him –something he could never get back.

He ran – but a sword struck his left thigh.He collapsed – unable to move .And he saw everything .He saw them push Eléa and the children into the house.Then came smoke.Then flames.Then silence.

He survived – gravely injured, unconscious, found by an old shepherd. But what died in him never returned.

🐚 The Signs on My Skin

At 22, I began to unconsciously remember my life on the island of Philae.

I got my first tattoo on my right foot: A 🪲 scarab – the Egyptian symbol for rebirth.

My father gave me a small stone figure of one shortly before he died, saying: “Don’t forget me.”Now I wear it as a tattoo – a symbol of protection. A sign of my origin .A silent companion through time and space.

Then came the second tattoo:🌟 Fourteen stars on my left foot – representing my connection to the spiritual world and to Isis – the goddess I once served.

Her beloved husband Osiris was killed and cut into 14 pieces by his brother Seth. Isis lovingly put him back together .And just like her, I now gather the pieces of my memory – and become whole again.

Finally: A phoenix stretching across my entire back 🕊️🔥. My largest tattoo. My promise from another time. My sign : I have returned –and this time, I stay.

🪞 Two Men – One Mirror

What touches me most today is the similarity in their stories.Maron – spiritual, deeply feeling, too honest, too loud. Chemitra – deeply connected, overwhelmed by the power of love. Both watched a woman they loved burn. Both couldn’t save her. Both carry a guilt that was never theirs.

I didn’t go into the fire because he didn’t hold me or because I chose against him. I went because I remembered my calling – and followed my truth.

And because I knew: I will return.

Maybe I didn’t come back just for me. Maybe I came back for them. So they may finally understand:

✨ Light cannot be imprisoned. Love cannot be possessed. And truth burns – but it does not destroy. It heals.

🌹 Why I Am Here Today

I have come to continue what I couldn’t finish back then. I am here to heal the sacred bond between sexuality and spirituality. To help people lose their fear. The fear of feeling pleasure. The fear of feeling themselves. The fear of being wrong.

Because sexuality is not a tool for control .Not a stage for dominance. Not a porn fantasy. ❌💔

True sexuality heals. It connects. It liberates. It reminds you that you are alive.That you are allowed to feel –without shame. Without a mask. Without fear. 💖

And I am here to remind you .Not as a priestess. Not as a savior. But as someone who has walked through the fire herself.

✨ If You Remember…

If something stirred inside you while reading – a pull, a burn, a longing – then it’s no coincidence .Maybe you too carry a story within you that you’ve forgotten. Maybe you’re here to remember. Your power. Your light. Your freedom.

Then write to me. I’ll walk beside you. Not to lead – but to help you remember yourself. Because this time, we don’t walk through the fire alone. We walk through it together. And we don’t just return.

We stay. 🕊️🔥

With loving connection,

Lia ❤️🫶🏻❤️